The SPARKLEPONY! Opportunity

 How often have you wished that you could get in on the ground floor with a business opportunity?  Imagine if ten years ago you had the opportunity to buy into Redbox, Netflix, or Google.  SPARKLEPONY! is now opening itself up for associates to sell its exciting, life improving, health enhancing, money making products.  You will have not only the opportunity to sell the SPARKLEPONY! mantra and homeopathic pill, but you will have the opportunity to sell SPARKLEPONY! franchises to new associates.  This is how real money is made.  If you can just recruit only 10 people in the tier of associates below you, and they can each just recruit only 10 people into the tier below them...by the time that you have 10 tiers below you, that bottom tier would only have to sell $10 in SPARKLEPONY! products to make you 100 BILLION DOLLARS.*

 Using SPARKLEPONY! will improve your life in ways that you can only dream of.  You will soon find that you can not live without SPARKLEPONY! as it enhances your digestion, alertness, respiration, stress levels, orgasms, and health in general.** Why not also have SPARKLEPONY! improve your bank account by selling SPARKLEPONY!***
DON'T LET THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOUR FIRST BILLION DOLLARS PASS YOU BY, START SELLING SPARKLEPONY! TODAY!****

*-That bottom tier alone would have 10,000,000,000 people (ten billion, the total number of associates below you would be 11,111,111,110 and the world's total population on 10/31/2011 reached 7,000,000,000 seven billion, so it's good to allow your franchise time and room to grow).
**-The statement that SPARKLEPONY! will "enhances your digestion, alertness, respiration, stress levels, orgasms, and health in general" in no way is an affirmative statement that SPARKLEPONY! will actually enhance your life in these ways.  Side effects can included: indigestion, drowsiness, grogginess, mucous buildup, a weakened shallow breath, hypertension, erectile dysfunction, female sexual dysfunction, coma, and death.
***-The automatic bank withdrawals and minimum purchases of SPARKLEPONY! may actually drain your bank account and overdraft the account itself.
****-Making a billion dollars selling SPARKLEPONY! is not a typical result.  Only you can determine how much you can make through selling SPARKLEPONY!

SPARKLEPONY! Now Available in a Homeopathic Pill

SPARKLEPONY! is now available as a homeopathic* pill.  The proven safe and effective** formula of SPARKLEPONY! the mantra has been formulated into an easy to swallow pill.  So, what do you say...improve your life today! with SPARKLEPONY!***

*- "homeopathic" should read "contains no active ingredient." SPARKLEPONY! may contain pixie dust, angel dust, the tears of 1,000 unicorns, wishful thinking, salt, calcium bicarbonate, guano, or fingernail clippings.  All ingredients are contained to the strong+ homeopathic rate of 0.000000000001 diluted in water

**-"proven ... effective" means SPARKLEPONY! is no less effective than placebo.  SPARKLEPONY! is also no more effective than placebo.  SPARKLEPONY! is "proven safe" because it contains ingredients only at a homeopathic ratio, and thus has relatively nothing in it.

***-The statement "improve your life today! with SPARKLEPONY!" is not intended as an affirmative statement that SPARKLEPONY! will improve your life.  Even though SPARKLEPONY! is now available in a homeopathic pill, it still requires the repeated loud chanting of the mantra "SPARKLEPONY!" to work.  Remember "SPARKLEPONY!" works relative to how loud and repeated you shout it.  The use of "SPARKLEPONY!" in the workplace may result in the following: "random" drug testing, psychiatric evaluations, forced removal from property, coworkers looking at you strange, the assumption that you suffer from guanopsychosis, irritated looks from coworkers, or loss of employment.

SPARKLEPONY! should not be used by the following: infants, children, nursing mothers, cat owners, teenagers, adults, alpaca lovers, senior citizens, dementia patients, anyone with a history of psychiatric problems, anyone under the age of 72 or above the age of 30.  SPARKLEPONY! should not be used as a ninja black egg nor should it be used to clean or lubricate machinery.

+-strong for homeopathic "medicine."

An Introduction to SPARKLEPONY!

Are you not feeling well?  I will give you a mantra to say when you are feeling cold or ill. "SPARKLEPONY!"  Now, this works exponentially to how loud you say it.  If you mutter it to yourself, you may feel a tiny bit better.  If you say it out loud, you will feel a bit better.  If you repeatedly say it as lous as you can without shouting, you probably won't even notice you feel cold or ill.  Try it, it works*.

*-Please note that in writing "it works" in no way constitutes an affirmative statement that this will work for you.  Every person has a different reaction to saying "SPARKLEPONY!"  Please discontinue saying "SPARKLEPONY!" if you have any of the following side effects: nausea, dizziness, heartburn, diarrhea, sneezing, constipation, euphoria, telekinesis, apathy, headache, food cravings, ennui, indigestion, a loud persistent cough, numbness, tingling extremities, confusion, or clarity.  A rare but serious side effect can sometimes occur with the use of "SPARKLEPONY!" in that people you are in contact with will think you are suffering from guanopsychosis.  Please consult a doctor if your symptoms become worse while using "SPARKLEPONY!"