SPARKLEPONY! Now Available in a Homeopathic Pill

SPARKLEPONY! is now available as a homeopathic* pill.  The proven safe and effective** formula of SPARKLEPONY! the mantra has been formulated into an easy to swallow pill.  So, what do you say...improve your life today! with SPARKLEPONY!***

*- "homeopathic" should read "contains no active ingredient." SPARKLEPONY! may contain pixie dust, angel dust, the tears of 1,000 unicorns, wishful thinking, salt, calcium bicarbonate, guano, or fingernail clippings.  All ingredients are contained to the strong+ homeopathic rate of 0.000000000001 diluted in water

**-"proven ... effective" means SPARKLEPONY! is no less effective than placebo.  SPARKLEPONY! is also no more effective than placebo.  SPARKLEPONY! is "proven safe" because it contains ingredients only at a homeopathic ratio, and thus has relatively nothing in it.

***-The statement "improve your life today! with SPARKLEPONY!" is not intended as an affirmative statement that SPARKLEPONY! will improve your life.  Even though SPARKLEPONY! is now available in a homeopathic pill, it still requires the repeated loud chanting of the mantra "SPARKLEPONY!" to work.  Remember "SPARKLEPONY!" works relative to how loud and repeated you shout it.  The use of "SPARKLEPONY!" in the workplace may result in the following: "random" drug testing, psychiatric evaluations, forced removal from property, coworkers looking at you strange, the assumption that you suffer from guanopsychosis, irritated looks from coworkers, or loss of employment.

SPARKLEPONY! should not be used by the following: infants, children, nursing mothers, cat owners, teenagers, adults, alpaca lovers, senior citizens, dementia patients, anyone with a history of psychiatric problems, anyone under the age of 72 or above the age of 30.  SPARKLEPONY! should not be used as a ninja black egg nor should it be used to clean or lubricate machinery.

+-strong for homeopathic "medicine."