Lose Weight in 2012 with SPARKLEPONY! for Weight Loss

Start your new years off right.  For years you have planned on losing weight and keeping it off.  You've tried altering your diet and exercise.  You've significantly reduced your caloric intake and exercised yourself to exhaustion, but as soon as you stop the weight and more adds back on. Contrary to popular belief, diet and exercise are not the keys to long term weight loss.  If they aren't the way to keeping the weight off, what is? Finally there is a solution.  SPARKLEPONY! for Weight Loss is the solution that you have been looking for.  SPARKLEPONY! for Weight Loss is a proven system** for losing unwanted weight and keeping it off. 
In addition to the SPARKLEPONY! mantra and SPARKLEPONY! homeopathic pills, SPARKLEPONY! for Weight Loss requires a regimented diet of nothing but 1 boiled egg in the morning and as much boiled cabbage as you want for the rest of the day.  The diet must be followed Monday through Friday.  On the Weekends you may choose to add one cup of applesauce or one cup of plain yoghurt each day.
When you get cravings you simply take a SPARKLEPONY! homeopathic pill and chant "SPARKLEPONY!" as much as is needed until you no longer feel hungry. SPARKLEPONY! homeopathic pills have several  homeopathic appetite suppressants that unlike other appetite suppressants will not make you feel jittery.***  Given that SPARKLEPONY! pills are safe and homeopathic you can take as many as you would like in a day.  Remember that the SPARKLEPONY! mantra works better the louder you say it and the more you repeat it.
Live your best life now.  Start using SPARKLEPONY! for Weight Loss today!****
You will lose the weight and will live the best life you can imagine.*****

*-Results are not typical. 1) These are obviously two different people, because of their height difference.  2) They are of two different sexes. 3) This is not an actual photo, but an extremely crude picture drawn on GPaint.
**-A proven system provided that you can maintain the regimen that is required. 
***-SPARKLEPONY! homeopathic pills may contain some of the following proven appetite suppressants: ephedra, nicotine, caffeine, amphetamine, or yerba mate.  As an active ingredient in a medicine these would all cause you to feel jittery, but as the homeopathic concentrations are less than 1 part per 1,000,000,000,000 (one trillion) they are guaranteed to not make you feel jittery.
****-This is not intended as a call to action.
*****-The phrase "the best life you can imagine" is subjective, it may include the following side effects: stomach cramps, chronic diarrhea, constipation, daytime hallucinations, decreased BS detection, a numb gaydar, dizziness, obnoxious stomach rumbling, tooth and/or hair loss, narcolepsy, and indigestion.  In addition you may find that you have a less energy to do the things that you want to do.